it's good to be back

i feel myself now. i'm not missing taiwan as much . & i guess that's a very good thing.

i hang out with friends, almost everyday. i thank them for always making me smile. i haven't been on this thing for a while. only because i'm WAY too lazy to type what i feel like typing.

mann, NCIS, law&order, Bones. They've never been better. Even though i've seen the episodes maybe 379845 times. not really, but you get the point.

oookay, so my neighbor person, is moving out. finished with DBHS. wow. time flies.

i have nothing else to write really.

except, i'm in my asian phase again! hahaha, liking asian stuff again. like the daily shows and all that. it's really interesting. hahah.

well, i'm off then.

- CLEEEEE.

amazing

how much one can miss a certain place.

The first two weeks, I was pretty sad. I wanted to go home and see my family and hang out with my friends. And watch movies. And go some place fun. I couldn't wait for the trip to end.

The short term mission was one week in tai zhong and another in yi lan. It's been so good. I didn't want to come back. And i found out, I could have stayed for more days -__________- gosh. MAN. I WANT TO GO BACK and see all the people. I miss the kids tremendously. Some of them were pretty wild, but they were all so cute. I miss them so much ):

& I want to see Cathy and Jenny, & the rest of the youth group at taizhong. and then the crazy, independent kids in yilan. And the place they live. You'd think a standard house in America was a mansion. & i'm not lying at all. They's homes are so beat up because it's more like the country-side. So yeah. Sigh. Well, I know one day I will go back for sure. But I wouldn't know where to find them. I know where a few of them live.

I want to go back to taizhong & just talk to them. Hang out with them. There are so many teenagers. Well, kind of. You can't really tell their age really. There's a guy, he looks 20, but he's actually 25 -___-X & then a girl that looks 20, who's actually 15 -____-; 

But, now that I'm back, I don't know what to do.

hello from Taiwan

HIIIIIIIII. From Taiwan. Oh goodness. i thought i would be going through computer ... what's the word ? o_o wow. whatevrrr.

soo, the flight was okay. like really. so nervous! said goodbyes to the 'rents before the customs and yeahh. goooodness. LOL. but i liked the customs guy. because i was smiling when i went through. you know, i can't seem to remember why either. LOL, so whenn i went through, he was like 'okay, make sure you keep smiling.' BAHHAA. OH DUDE. And the lady who was taking care of the things that passed on the x-ray thing, she saw my shoes and she was like, 'can i see those shoes?' and i was like, '*nervous* sureeee.' she showed them to the lady looking at the x-ray thing, and she's like, ' hey these shoes are real nice.' and i was like -____- HAHAHHA. so yeah. oh and also i saw one of my friends on the same flight, but after, i couldn't find her. maybe i'll see her somewhere ... hahah. maybeh. so, i waited. texted. read. and yeahh.

i had the middle seat. the worst. but it wasn't that bad. i hope i don't get it again though. annoying. NO, actually, i think it was only that 'MATTHEW' came ): so annoying. went through paranoia much of the ride, hoping he wouldn't 'leak out the news' -___-X and yeahh.

and i arrived, a much 16 hours later. slept like on and off. and read. nearr the end, i turned on the interactive stuff, like the movies and what not. WOW. dude. nice music. & THE BEST PART?! CSI: MIAMI and CSI: NY . there were two small episodes. FREAKING BOMB! :D that made me extra happy. heh.

and so now, i'm at my aunt's work. but at least i have internet and i know people. it's nice. definitely. SO HOT HERE. and it's not just hot, it's humid. now i understand what these people were talking about.
person1 - dude, it's so hot, it's like taiwan.
person2 - no, it's definitely not like taiwan.
person1 - why not?
person2 - my shirt isn't sticking to my back yet -_____-
BAHAHHA. true stuff mannn.

so, yeahhhhhh. well, i'm missing all my people in the US of A (:

love
- CLEEEEE.

i am

finally a senior! awesome! ahhah. it's kinda like the epitome of what all students want to become. before going off to college that is. get ready for some big change. i can't believe so much time has just passed by, it feels like only thirty minutes i was a junior/sophomore/freshman. of course, i'll never forget the years at DBHS. nahhh, they were my favorites. there were ups and downs,  but you know what ? i got through them all. & i'm ecstatic to start my last year of high school and move on. it seems that's what everyone wants to do. but then we reminisce and think, is it really better now, then back then ? no, i believe the past is easier. it's just right. but moving on is a part of life . and i'm willing to take the first step.

so basically, it's like what ... the fifth day of vacation, excluding weekends ? friday, monday, tuesday, wednesday. oh, consider it thursday too, since it's midnight (: therefore, five days!

afterschool went to get nails done. it was good, until it started chipping & stuff. apparently, not only me. wu and jung, of course, went with me. 

thanks you guys, i don't think i could have made it through high school without you.

around me

they are
around me.
surrounding, 
hidden
everywhere.
secrets that i must keep
while others let them go.
they show,
let loose.
only one,
am i, 
to feel this way.
maybe it was bound to 
be like this.
but it's hard to cope
when everything
has lots its hope.
i guess.
all i can do
is
wait.

but what,
am i waiting
for?
and that
is the 
question.

so close

to last day of school! ;D ahahha. it's awesome. but i'll miss all the seniors. because it's that much different. goossh. i'm going to miss them so much. there aren't older people here to bother us little ones anymore ):

well. there will always be time. no matter how much less we have of it. mmkay. well, nothing big has happened really.

dance auditions were on friday. ahah. combo was interesting. though went there at like 3:30 , the whole room was cramped as heckk. wowzers.

hmm, and then link crew. ): i made it.

umm. yeahh. 

well, i definitely need to go chill with the bests sooon. though it's been only two days, i feel like i haven't seen them in the longest time ever! yes, i'm that much paranoid.

hmm, well, yeahh. Life'sGood. but, sometimes, not good enough. mhmm. dude. i've been watching NCIS episodes online! omg! the best you could ever get! ;D

- CLEEEEE.

dance concert

was awesome. Man, this year was really good. But there are so many people graduating ): and we won't be in the same classes or anything. I'm going to miss those seniors terribly. Like, really, I will. Even the dancers who I don't really know. Like what some people said in the circle. I don't know you, but you inspire me. You guys always help and stuff. And it's like all together and whatevs. So, it's going to be SOO different. Dance concert was pretty good though. RAMA LAMA . goood jobs. It was pretty darn goood. Because of the tutting, major applause. hahahha (: it was good. AMDC is soo crazy. 

I remember my mom saying. What kind of dancing is that, when i first told her about hip hop. And she's like whatever about it. But then, last year, when she saw AMDC, she was like totally interested and wanted to watch them dance more. But nahh. No more. Amazingly, they only have one dance all together & I think that's not enough. Who's with me ?! yeahh, i thought so. [hope i'm not the only one] . It was gooooooood. 

DUDEE! ME AND JUNG GOT LOCKED IN GIRL'S RESTROOM. Man, was that pathetic, funny, embarrassing or what ?! HAHAHA. danng, it was effing funny though, I thought. ahah, mann. all those moments. 

What happens when we're the seniors ?

recently

i've just felt good about life. & i'm guessing that's a good thing. like, hello world. you're pretty awesome. i don't NEED anymore than i have right now. of course, we humans will always have extra wants and desires. but we technically don't NEED any of that stuff. 

PROM EXPO TOMORROW @ LUNCH ON UPPER QUAD !

i think i have to go help.

i dislike when people think they are part of something, when they aren't even part of the f_cking group. it's like, don't come off as something you aren't. you look like an idiot, so you probably are. 

dannnnnnng.

well well. my aim is being sooo PMSy. it doesn't work on my desktop , so i get to use meebo ! greeeeat ! ... NOT -______-X

):

but on a second noteee, (:

i feel good

hmmm, i'm not hyper. i'm more like nothing can stop my. LOL. dude. i'm watching House right now. gosh. i want NCIS to be on. ddangg it. i liek that one better -_-

today was pretty good day. lol, he's cute. 

ANYWAYS. yessss, went to see catherine jung's new dog Star (: sooo cute!

i like my life very much (:

i am

finally relaxed a few. ahhh. like chinese project was getting to be a lot of work and hastle. so finally it's donee. gooooood.

feeling better since last time i bloggerred (:

i wonder

what it's like to not like anyone .

& i actually thought




.

today was

soooooo nice! relaxing. in the morning i woke up when my body wanted to. yay! but that sucks. because when school starts again, i need to wake up early -_-x
but yeah, i woke up, read my book and fell back asleep. woke back up at 12. yesss! & i read some more. oh wait. no i took a shower. hahaha.

went to the bakery by my house. and got boba for me and my bestieCATJUNG<3 hhaha (: it was nice. technically, you don't really need a car in this city. well, where i live is okay. i'm pretty close to everything. but yahhh, to get interesting shopping, then you would need a car.
went to her house and watched seven pounds. that movie is sooo sad! ): started crying twice, but didn't cry out loud, more like sobbing. & then watched NCIS. yay!

& now, she's at her key club social. LOL. doing nothing is what she's doing right now, with wu (: LOL. mmmkay. well, hope it's not still boringgg.

- CLEEEEE.

i feel

like if i died now, my life has been lived to its fullest.

of course i would like to pursue my goals and careers, but you know. it wouldn't bother me if i just died. i want to live and travel. and it makes me realize, really, NEVER take anything for granted.

just, i hope everyone will realize that sometime someday.
it's never too late to learn something new.

- CLEEEEE

so far

i know i wrote yesterday, but after reading jung's & sunena's blogs, it got me thinking too. & that's what blogs are for. sometimes they relieve me of stress and i could go on and on. i felt overloaded last week. there was just soo much to do. but i like how junior year is shaping up. i mean, it's supposed to be the hardest and it is actually. but i'm glad that i'm getting something out of it.
i feel a bit different , like i've gone through a lot more. i guess i kind of have. there are some things that i help friends out with. & it's gooooood.
i like junior year so far, definitely. & like i said before, i feel different in a sense. you can laugh, but there are some things, where i feel like i've matured a bit. yeah, laugh.
but just, i've been a little more apprehensive & on guard. becuase even though it's going good. there's just one thing bothering me.

why do boys do the things they do ? they do one thing, while their minds are thinking another. it's just hard for us girls to understand. you call us girls complicated. but have you stopped to think that maybe your actions are speaking louder than words ? is that the way you want them to be ? if not, then don't go out of your way just to make that happen. girls over-analyze many times over silly little sentences. & i love how the boys don't even know it. but it does. sometimes even immediately and without thinking . please, boys; just control your actions for once & let your mouth do the talking. i don't want to have to go through that again.
which leads me to being on my guard. i don't want that to happen again.
i want to just live a life where it's easy and people can say what's on their minds.
you wonder how come i never have any drama.
well, dammmmmmn. maybe it's because i love the people i'm around & don't start something just because i'm bored. it just makes everyone else pity you, aaaaaaite ?
i love the people i've made friends with & i really hope they feel the same.
this year has been filled with ups and downs most definitely.
well, seriously, just at the beginning. HA. well, let's not go back.

since the beginning of 2009. i just hope to become more mature.
there are things i actually contemplate hard about now.
college, majors, minors, jobs. there's a load.
but i've begun to shape it up & i want to follow my guide.

posture to begin with. it's hard if you just start now. mannn, the back is sore from being straightt. but like i said, if you work hard enough, why wouldn't you get the thing you have been desiring & anticipating for ?

god bless.
- CLEEEEE

the shoppes

was fun! but not as much as it could have been. because obviously, they don't have a life. the whole mall closes at 8. how the heck are they supposed to get customers ?! well, they're lucky, becuase they still do -____-X but unfair. every time we got to the store, they closed the door ! ):
ehhhh, but after reading catherine jung's blogspot. i'm glad she had fun. & i'm sorry i couldn't go. i wanted to, of course . but anyways. we took videos for catherine jung. she already knows about them ! (:

hahaha, and me and wu's tag for you in our pictures (: <3 yeahh.
dude. so in the end, we went to chill in barnes & nobles. you should have heard what wu did! it was heckaaa funny! but i think you can hear it in the video. it was freaking funnnny! but yeah. there were couple of cute guys. & then we had to leave . bleeeeh. but i got a booook ! YES! agatha christie <3

we totally need another wujunglee bonding moment, am i right ?
exactly, until next timee. brother's home & it might get a little chaotic.

- CLEEEEE

before i start

homework, i will post something. it's been about a week or so ? yeahh. so yes, before i start homework, i just want to say one thing (;

let's have everyone hope with their life that catherine jung won't get any more sick than she already is and have her get better. wow O__O it feels like i'm talking about her like she's in the hospital or something.
i've taken a liking to different types of songs now. don't know why either. must have been surfing the radio stations. & i have a few presets. and i've taken a likingg. it's nice though. their songs are pretty deep. instead of all the hip hop talking about drugs, sex, and hooking up or something. well, i should say the lyrics are deep.

i walked home today from school o_o not far though. it takes about thirty minutes. but i think it's very relaxing. & when you get home, it feels sooooo nice. you just sit and rest your muscles a few and start on homework. no distractions or anything. haah. yeah, talking about distractions blogspot. i just kidding.
so brea mall w/ josh and catherine was hilarious. i was supposed to be at catherine's house, but i went to brea with them to get them sadies stuff. haha. and so, we're all good. going home. josh put his keys in his bag. and so, walked to his car. and put the bags in and closed the trunk.
then josh walks a bit, then says, 'wait, where are my keys ?' yuppp. he put it in his bag, which is now in the closed trunk -__-x talk about bad timing. soo, yeah. i had to tell my mom i went to brea to buy some dance stuff. my goooooodness i had an orange shirt. goooood times good times. i will never forget that. but, i don't blame josh <3 hahah.

i was in a good mood today (:

- CLEEEEE

sick

which i should NOT be. just a CONJESTIVE NOSE. that i think i got from catherine jung. thanks bunches -____- anyways, yeah. hmmmmmmm, what should our topic be ? i think it should be health.

LOL. no, i'm not a health freakkk. i'm just healthy most of the time. thank goodness. but it's been deteoriating. UGHHHH . you know what really hurts ?! when you use paper towel to rub your nose/blow your nose. because obviously, my chem AND english class doesn't believe in tissue ! :[ my nose hurts terribly. it feels red, but it's not. that's so not goood. & i like cannot breathe through my left nostril. it's soooooooo annoying.

& i'm hungry. thank goooodness for that one thing only girls get. you know why ?! because we lose weight after we get it. becuase we, or maybe me, sometimes, get PMS-y . & therefore , we get angry, which lets off some calories. but it's not the good way. but also, it feels like we're bloated! the whole time so, we, well i , don't eat . because i can't fill my stomach anymore.

well, i should be doing homework. i really do have a lot today. dannnng!

& yes, i agree with JUNG <3 get down to brea mall and find our way to Westminster Mall. everyone should go there at least once in their lifetime. i think it's a really pretty mall. well, anyways. i'm hungry =D
goooooodbye.

- CLEEEEE

first day

of march. i feel like it should be a good month.

yesterday, kathleen came over. & even though we see each other like almost everyday, we are still able to find things that we haven't talked about. ohhhhhh eww >_< style="font-style: italic;">someone said they would go to sadies with her (; & she won't stop laughing at random times -____- & all of you who think i'm totally chaotic and random ...

what should the topic of discussion be today ?
i sound like a college professor or something. 'good morning, class. today we will be learning about cellular biology & ways that molecules bond together to form different bonds and compounds.' hahahah. sad thing is, that's probably my major for college @_@

let's talk about that.
so, tell me, people. what college do you want to go to ?

me ? well, i prefer to go to UCI or FIDM <3 but yes, competition for design is harsh. so, that will probably be a minor. or i can do double major. whatever floats my boat during that time.
tell me, tell me. what do you want to do when you grow up ?

i am & what if`s

who am i ? i think i know who i am. but sometimes i do ponder.
boy, do i sound smart .
that's one thing no one believes. well, maybe they do, but they don't show it.
i used to be really smart.
but i then i moved to californya. where there is a hoard of smartbutt asians (; no offense.
i used to be a tomboy O_O
yeah i know, but then, i moved to californya.

don't get me wrong, of course i am hecka glad to have moved here. i met some of the greatest people i think i will ever meet. and that's saying something. i'm not even at the prime of my life yet, as someone has once told me. i don't think i'm capable of going back to the way i was. i do kinda miss it, but i don't think i would ever trade it for the world. but you know ?

sometimes i wonder, what if ?
what if i hadn't moved ?
what if i hadn't made the friends i had ?
what if i had done this another way ?
what if i had moved to somewhere else ?
what if i hadn't met the coolest people on earth ?
what if the world came to an end & i wasn't able to show love for the people that deserved it ?
what if i wasn't able to meet the people i have through others ?
what if i was actually confident ?
what if i was rich ?
what if i was poor ?
what if i was famous ?
what if i was a fob ?
i'm getting off topic, aren't i ? (; ooooops . but, seriously, have you not wondered, 'what if' also ?

that's what i thought. so i should be sleeping, but what if i don't finish my homework ?

i know the answer to that .
immmmmmmmmma get good grades.
PSYCH !

so fun (:

what's today ? oh yes, sunday the twentysecond. well yesterday was hecka funn ! ;D went skiing at Mountain High.

I thought it would be cold. But, of course, it's cali-FOR-NY-A . it's never cold -___- at least i didn't bring the big huge jacket that my mom told me to bring. because that would have just been embarrassing. i wish i was lying, but i'm not.

I went with church people. Heckofa lotta fun . seriously. There was soo much traffic though! it was soo crazy. What was supposed to take twenty minutes, took us about an hour and a half O_O . literally [ my brother was watching the time ] .

but it was soooooooo much fun ! i haven't gone skiing in the longest time ever. the last time was when i was still in Massachusetts. So, five to six years ... O_O that's quite a while ! but it was funn. HAHAHAHAHAHA. and i went really fast and since i couldn't stop ... i seriously was like whatever. and fell . yeah. i was seriously going hecka fast and i decided to fall. yeahhh. it didn't really hurt though. the only fascinating thing was that my body was here and the poles were like five feet away -____- you have to get diagonals down ! ouch. ahah. so i'm sore today. but at least everyone else is too. my brother says he is too, but he doesn't show it & who believes him anyway ? no one, that's right (;

my feet hurt. those dang boot things hurt when you put them on ):
BUT I'M GOING BACK NO MATTER WHAT. I DON'T CARE. I GO BACK ! IT WAS HECKA FUNN. & I WANT TO LEARN TO SNOWBOARD. SERIOUSLY. LOOKS LESS PAINFUL.

hmmmm. eyeahhhhh. ate food today. good food (:
math is buggin` .
chinese is retarded .
good night . sweet dreams all of you (:

CLEEEEE.

sleeping

sleeping. haha. what i should be doing. but, i had to do something for my madre. therefore, still not in bed. and instead, on blogspot . you know, i always seem to think these things are pointless. i have nothing to say right now. i suppose. ahha (: i've been in a good mood for these past few days. no idea why. but i've also been very mean. usually late at night and early in the morning. hmm, yes . i remember.

i kinda went all out mean on kathleen ho. it really wasn't my fault [ & i apologize ] . i don't know. i just wasn't feeling all that well. emotionally. i feel like i need to sleep more. but you know. there aren't enough hours in the day to finish what you need to do. and it sucks because with the start of another day, you need energy. energy which you don't have because you didn't sleep at all last night. well, i really should get going. this was kinda relaxing.

i suppose. catherine jung played two tricks on me. both within five minutes -___- and i think it was less than that. goshhh. anyways, yesssss. bed sounds good right about now.

tata.

CLEEEEE

valentine's day -___-

i haven't done a blog in the longest time ever. but whatever.
well, eyeahhh. hmmmm.

the twilight movie was awesome. just following up on my last entry. which was a very long while ago. it was pretty good, but there were some things that could have been better.

it's valentine's day. you should all go and share it with the one you love. if you're married, if you're together, or even if you want to be together. don't let anything stop you on this great day. PLUS, the sun is shining. in DB, t's been raining and it's been raining hardd. so it's nice to see the sun again.

even if you don't have a valentine, happy single-awareness day to you all ! <3 find someone to share the love, best friend, family, or whatever. a homeless person. i don't know. jk about the homeless person. because you don't really know if they are homeless or not. so yeahhh, don't get tricked by them.

anyways. i would like to make a dress. and i cannot wait to just get up and go to college. so then i can fimally go to freaking fashion school. i can't wait to freaking learn how to do all those things. well, i need to go eat some 'denero' as my bestieWU says all the time (;